Love Is Patient
by xxwanderlustdreamingxx
Summary: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."- Corinthians 13:4,7. An examination of the loves in Caroline's life, both vampire and human, from the very first to the very last.


Klaus had been wrong when she'd said that Tyler had been her first love. There had been others before him, before she'd been dragged into the world of vampires, and werewolves and hybrids. Before everything had literally become fucked up beyond all repair, before her life had changed forever. Literally.

She'd been in the first grade, and on the first day of school a boy in her class named Jamie had smiled at her from across the table. He had been cute back then, before boys had cooties and everything and everyone was young and innocent and naïve. Jamie had feather black hair and shocking blue eyes and sometimes when she thinks back on it, she can't help but think of Damon Salvatore.

They'd been married and everything, complete with gummy rings and a ceremony performed by a very studious and serious looking Matt, who had instructed Jamie that he may kiss his bride. Jamie did, but on the cheek.

And she'd been happy for awhile. Things had been blissful with Jamie, and she could almost forget about the fact that her mom and dad didn't sleep in the same bed, or couldn't be in the same room without arguing with each other, or that one day her dad walked out and just didn't come back.

Until Jamie met Elena Gilbert. Just like that their marriage was over, and she was left with her heart on her sleeve and tears in her eyes as across the playground Jamie and Elena held hands and acted like they were blissfully in love with each other.

It was here that her deep seated jealousy of Elena began. She was beautiful in an exotic sort of way, with her olive skin and long pin straight hair. She was so different from the other girls in her grade, with their pale skin and washed out hair. She was always hanging around with that other girl, Bonnie Bennett who lived with the crazy witch lady down the street.

It wasn't that she hated Elena per se. It was more the fact that Elena didn't even try and everything was handed to her on a silver platter. She wasn't the smartest in class but she always got the best marks. Everyone wanted to be her friend, even though she kept mostly to herself. Even at a young age, she could recognise that this girl would either be one of her best friends or her greatest rivals.

You know what they say after all; keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

* * *

When she had been 16 and thought the world was at her feet, she'd met Stefan Salvatore. She'd found him attractive from the start, already planning out the rest of her life with him in her head, even if she hadn't spoken to him yet.

But again for reasons unknown to her, he only had eyes for Elena. It was like a vicious cycle really. Meet a guy, find him attractive and having exactly the right qualities that she looks for in a guy, have him meet Elena Gilbert and lose him all over again.

She tried really hard to hate Elena, but fact of the matter was that Elena couldn't help it. Although it was obvious that her friend was attracted to Stefan, it was also obvious that emotionally she wasn't really ready for a relationship. She'd just split from the high school quarterback Matt Donavon, and she'd lost her parents in a tragic car crash over the summer.

She was emotionally damaged. And yet Stefan Salvatore still wanted to know her, wanted to discover her, wanted her.

She'd had a bit of a moment, when she realised that there was no way she'd be able to have Stefan. Not while Elena was around. And that was the thing really; Stefan and Elena were just epic together. There was no way that she could come between that. She loved the friendship that had sprung up between her and Stefan during her junior year shortly after her turning and couldn't imagine not having him in her life.

He'd been there for her like no one else had, had saved her life when Damon had wanted to end her when she'd been a baby vampire out of control of her bloodlust. It had been Stefan who had taken her to a bathroom, cleaned the blood off her face, held her as she'd broken down in hysterics and told her that it was all going to be okay.

And it was in the end.

It was Stefan that taught her how to hunt, taught her how to adapt to her new slightly overwhelming senses. It was Stefan that was always there for her no matter the time of day or night. Stefan would always be there for her.

She thinks she'll always love Stefan, just not in the way that she ever thought she would. She's known him long enough to consider him family, one of the people she would figuratively take a bullet for if the situation came to it. She would straight up die for Stefan Salvatore, and it was a wonderful feeling knowing intrinsically that he would do the same for her. Stefan told her things that he suspected he didn't even tell Elena. And when Elena chose Damon after she turned, she was there to pick up the pieces, to offer support and a shoulder to cry on. Stefan would always be one of her loves. Just not in the way she ever anticipated that it would turn out. And she was more than okay with that.

* * *

Damon Salvatore had been another story entirely. The complete polar opposite of Stefan, he'd been older, and he was dark and sinful and everything that her mother didn't like. And it was partly why she went for him, only served to spur her on, to do things with Damon that she'd never done with another guy before. He took her virginity on a Saturday night, and left her bed soon after. And she'd been hollow. She'd felt lost and broken and like a piece of her had gone. She'd never imagined that when she had sex for the first time it would be so callous, so detached, so emotionless. She expected candles, and rose petals, a soft John Mayer song playing in the background. And she'd expected it to be perfect. But Damon Salvatore dashed all of her hopes and dreams and threw them to the wind. And he had the devils smirk as he did so.

If she had to describe her time with Damon, she'd say hazy for obvious reasons. Because being with him was a vicious cycle as well. He'd reveal what he really was to her and she'd be frightened beyond belief. Then he'd compel her and she'd be docile as a lamb, effectively his slave and play thing there to cater to his every need or desire.

But she'd loved him. Loved his shocking black hair and bright blue eyes, loved the vulnerability that only she saw because she bothered to look beneath the mask to who he really was. She saw a man, lost, alone, and confused as he searched for the one thing that was seemingly unattainable for him. She could love him, if she turned and became one of them. She could be with him forever if she really wanted to.

She'd cried for days when Elena had broken the news that Damon had left town. Because he was her first grown up love, someone who she thought would be forever. Later when she'd found out he was a vampire it had all made sense, and she was more furious than sad with him. As much as she had wanted to drive a stake through his heart, she knew that he'd have to stay. So she settled for getting her revenge in her own way, by turning the tables and showing that she was strong and powerful and that she was more than capable of going toe to toe with him if he fucked her over again. That she wasn't afraid of him anymore and that she never would be again.

She hadn't forgiven him for what he did to her when she was still human, and she probably never will for as long as they both live. But there's a mutual respect for each other, even if it is grudging and at gunpoint at times. Whether she likes it or not he's going to be around for a long time, especially now that Elena has chosen him over Stefan. And she's okay with that, really she is. If Elena is happy with Damon, then she's happy for Elena. She doesn't have to like Damon, but I suppose you could call it progress if she doesn't feel like killing Damon every time he opens his mouth. Damon will always be a representation of the person she was when she was at her most vulnerable and she'll always hate him that little bit more for finding his happiness with Elena.

She has more power than she thought over him though. Because if Klaus ever found out what Damon did to her when she was human, he would end him before he even had a chance to blink. But she wouldn't do that to Elena, not when she was so obviously happy. Because really, it had been so long since her friend had been happy and there's no way that she would ever be the one to take that away from her.

* * *

After Damon had come Matt, and being with him had been so easy. There had been no vampire drama, and Matt had remained blissfully unaware of her nature for a number of weeks. Being with him was as easy as breathing. She'd known him for years, watched him go from a slightly dorky kid to a really good looking guy. He was just as damaged, just as troubled as she was, and they bonded over the fact that really when it came down to it all they had was each other. Matt was everything she thought her first real love would be. He looked after her and took care of her. She's not sure if she can ever really forgive him for falling in with Tyler's mom, but she figures that she's done some really unforgivable things as well so she'll let it go. It's something that she's learnt as a vampire. Life is fleeting and Matt is one of the only humans left in her life. There's no point holding a grudge against him, not when he could be dead at any time. Matt was like home. He was familiar, he was safe, and he'd make anyone very happy one day with how loyal he was.

* * *

She doesn't really think that she's had an epic relationship until she had Tyler. They were like the cliché star crossed lovers. Romeo and Juliet, the vampire and the werewolf. By all rights they shouldn't have anything to do with each other, they shouldn't work. But they had, and wonderfully so. She'd never really thought much of Tyler, he was the stereotypical asshole jock who loved football and girls more than he did school and homework. He came from a rich family and stood to inherit a lot. He hosted the best parties, did the wildest things. But a the end of the day and when it all came down to it, she suspects that she's one of the only people in the world who really saw who Tyler was. And that was someone who was scared, and frightened, and unsure of the future.

But she loved Tyler. If they'd both been humans she'd probably start dreaming of a white picket fence and 2.5 kids with him. For awhile she'd been happy as things had started to settle into a routine of sorts with them. She'd even thought that her life would be going back to normal, or some semblance of the normality that had been missing for almost a year now. And then things with her father had happened, and then Klaus had happened. Klaus, who had ordered her and Tyler kidnapped, who had gone toe to toe with Tyler on many an occasion, and had threatened to kill Tyler if he ever came back to Mystic Falls.

* * *

She'd loathed Klaus upon sight. He'd done nothing but cause havoc and destruction. He'd killed Elena's aunt Jenna, the last parental figure that her best friend had. He'd threatened to tear her town apart, to kill every last person that she held dear on this earth. He'd ordered Tyler to bite her, and then he'd swooped in like a knight in bloody shining armor to cure her. She'd never seen him, only heard stories of him, and she'd been surprised by his calm and bright demeanor as he stood on the threshold of her childhood bedroom, looking around in interest at the cream painted walls, at the various knick knacks she'd collected over the years, of the photographs hanging on her walls of her nearest and dearest. Genuine beauty he tells her through her pain filled haze, and she just moans in relief as he offers her his wrist before she bites into his wrist, taking the cure that he was offering her.

And so Klaus tried his hardest to worm his way past her defences. He sent her dresses and jewellery, and told her that she was beautiful and strong and full of light and that he fancied her and wanted to know her. If she'd been younger and more naïve than she was now, she probably would have fallen for his charms and his crisp accent and let him sweep him off her feet. But she was wiser, older, and more hardened to the cruelty of the world. And so she resisted, and he persisted. Relentlessly, like a predator stalking its prey. She's seen him angry, when she partook in the plan to kill one of his brothers, and she's seen him vulnerable, when he was stumbling across the road after her, wanting to know her hopes her dreams, and everything that she wanted out of life.

But little by little, his pursuit begins to wear her down. It starts at the decade dance, one of many that usually end in carnage and bloodshed. He dances with her, and tells her that he can show her the world, that she need only ask and he'll take her away right at this moment. But she's not brave enough for that yet, and so she scoffs, telling him that he doesn't have a chance.

They end him eventually, and she feels like a part of her has died with him. Because he's always been there to taunt her, to tease her, he's always seemed larger than life itself. She's always had a purpose, a part in the plan to bring him down and now that they've succeeded she doesn't really know what to do with herself. So she celebrates, but she doesn't really feel as euphoric over his passing as her other friends so obviously do.

But he comes back of course, except she doesn't quite realise at first. When she does she is shocked, and stunned, and betrayed and a little bit hopeful. He accompanies her to the Miss Mystic Falls Pageant and she's surprised at how charming he can be, how he can effortlessly hold conversation with some of the town's most important and dangerous people and still engage her in a way that will keep her entertained. He tells her a story of a man and a hummingbird that stuns her into silence, and she wonders where he's been all her life. He's funny, and intelligent, and experienced and if she were a human he'd be the perfect package deal. And she tries to forget the things that he's done, she really does, but she can't. Not yet.

But she sees him change, slowly but surely. She sees him drinking with Damon and hanging out with Stefan and she's wondered when this became a thing, how he managed to integrate himself into the very fabric of their lives and still remain in the background as a threat. He wouldn't kill any of them though, as much as he tries to pretend otherwise. He's too invested.

He loses two of his brothers, and shortly after he leaves for New Orleans with Elijah in tow. He offers her a place to stay should she ever need to get away and wishes her well for the future. _I intend to be your last love _he tells her, and a part of her doesn't run screaming from that possibility like she would have a year ago. Because she's older, and wiser, and more experienced. A year ago she wasn't ready to love him. But she thinks that she is now.

A week after graduation she goes and finds him in New Orleans. It doesn't take long; she's standing in the middle of a sun soaked street when she sees him with his head thrown back in laughter as he talks to another man. She watches him carefully as his gaze sweeps the crowd, roving over her before he freezes, his gaze snapping back to her in an instant. She thinks it will always be like this though. He'll always have the ability to recognise her in any busy place. Because he knows her, and she knows him. She's seen his soul, the darkest parts of him, and everything else that he has to offer.

And so she smiles tentatively at him, raising a hand to wave at him. And suddenly in the blink of an eye he's there, right there in front of her as he stares down at her in surprise.

"Caroline." He rasps as he reaches out to touch her cheek, like she's something precious and he can't really believe that she's actually here. And so she lets him, she doesn't shy away from the contact like she would have a couple of months ago.

She grins up at him playfully, watches as his lips quirk into something just short of a full blown smile. It's something that she's missed these past few days. And so reaching up on her tiptoes she pulls him down to her height, pressing her lips to his in a bruising kiss.

There's nothing romantic about it, it's fast, and heated, and probably not appropriate for public viewing. It's not how she ever imagined a kiss would be like but she wouldn't have it any other way.

His hands snake around her waist, anchoring her in place and at the same time crushing her to his chest. And he's the one to draw away, blinking down at her in shock. She pecks him once more on the cheek before grinning at him again.

"I believe you promised to show me the world Klaus Mikaelson." She murmured quietly, just loud enough for his sensitive hearing to pick up. People passing on the street are staring at them curiously, but she doesn't care because this is actually happening right now.

He still had that stunned expression on his face, but this time he actually, genuinely smiled.

"That I did sweetheart." He replied as he tugged her through the busy lunch time crowd.

Hours later as they lie wrapped up in sweat soaked sheets in a sumptuous room Klaus dances his fingertips along her spine, causing her to shiver pleasantly. He presses a kiss to her neck as she stretches out like a cat.

"I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up and it will all be a dream." He murmured into the skin of her throat as his hands map out her body like he's done it a thousand times before.

She just turned on her side as she looked at him shyly.

"It's not a dream I promise." She replies. He lets her tangle her legs with his, lets her rest her head on his chest as he props an arm behind his head. And as he shifts to get more comfortable, he almost misses her next words.

"I want to be your last love as well."

* * *

Review?


End file.
